Function: Brainiac Review
What, too obvious?
My experience with Function has been mostly positive, and I happened upon a pair of other flavors to test and tease my palette with. I’ve been feeling the mental lag recently, apparent in my lack of posts, so I chose to begin with Brainiac. This one is designated as a ‘Carambola Punch, ‘ that just being the fancy name for starfruit, a sweet, citrus-y and star-shaped fruit.
I crack this one open and ascertain the validity of their punch designation, but the tone is something different than your average sugary fruit-punch. The starfruit has a spicy hint to it, as does the taste, which is reminiscent of papaya. However, the taste fades quickly, leaving me with that cottony dry-moth feel I detest so much.
Ginko biloba, a known memory-aiding supplement is present, along with a soy derivative I can’t pronounce, soy PS which considered GRAS (generally recognized as safe) by the FDA and is supposed to aid mental function in various ways. Zinc and Vitamin E are present and only 24 g of sugar per 16.9 oz bottle.
The taste is different and enjoyable, I only wish it would last. The mental health effects remain to be seen, although I am feeling slightly perky now, but that could also be the organic beer I consumed prior. Anyhow, for a better-for-you sport-drink knock-off developed by physicians, it isn’t too bad. And look at all the big words I used, I must be getting smarter already.
Score: 4 out of 5. Comes on strong, but peters out in the finish.
– WiseGuise
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