Please welcome the belated poster-drink of the “Me Generation”!  I found this tangerine-pineapple flavored beverage cylinder amongst its equally brightly-colored brothers on the shelf of my local health food store.  As I always do when encountering new drinks, I flipped it over and checked the ingredients.  And the primary sweetener was: fructose!  Not high-fructose corn syrup, mind you.  Just fructose.  Eyebrows raised, I read on.  They also used 13% juice concentrate, some erythritol, and something called “oligofructose” as additional sweeteners.  (My eyebrows went up even further when I saw the last one.)  I did some preliminary research on oligofructose over a few different sites, and I didn’t find any negative health claims.  Evidently it’s supposed to be good for the ol’ colon, and it doesn’t add many calories, if any.

And the grand total for all of these sweeteners was: 17 grams for a 10 oz can.  Not too shabby.  So how does the flavor measure up?

Well, all I can say is that this is an incredibly tame tangerine-pineapple flavor.  It tastes like very lightly flavored, lightly sweetened seltzer water.  I want to taste the tropical bite of the pineapple, and the distinct citrus notes from the tangerine.  I want them to come out and hit me square in the taste buds, not skulk around in the aftertaste. And the flavor notes that I do manage to pick up have that distinct “from concentrate” feel to them.

One section of the can has a little blurb praising all things “me”.  Here’s a couple lines:

“You can be energetic, reflective, outgoing, moody, surprising, and unashamed.  You don’t fit a category – you are unique.  Now there is a beverage as natural and refreshing as you.”

While I am thankful for the “you are special” blurb on the side of the can, what I need first and foremost from my drink is to taste good, not to suck up to me. This drink isn’t bad, per se, it just has nothing memorable about it.  This beverage is supposed to serve as a living metaphor for someone’s unique personality?  I can’t help but wonder what personality they based it on.  Librarians*?

You can check out their site at www.findyourme.com to see bright colors and new ways to revel in your sassy, unique personality.  They have a personality quiz that will match you with your “Me” flavor.  Evidently I should have bought “Curiosity” – maybe I should reserve judgment until I try the flavor that was genetically engineered for me?  …nah.

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 – It’s all about health and flavor, and this just didn’t deliver on the latter.

-Danithius-

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*Librarians of the world, forgive me for using a cliched stereotype.  I know there are plenty of deeply interesting librarians out there.  Feel free to replace the word “librarian” with whatever stereotype librarians like to make fun of.

2-Star Reviews, Me drink reviews