Retro is in . . . again!

Last year, I began this post with all intentions of finishing it, after I heard the news of Pepsi’s ‘Throwback’ experiment.  I speculated a little on their reasons, mostly whether or not the mounting HFCS backlash had anything to do with it, and planned a long diatribe on using a planned fad disguised as nostalgia to mask another layer of a market experiment.  Needless to say, it got pushed back, and the eight-week run of the stuff ended, the sodas disappeared, and the post was largely forgotten, buried amongst review corpses in the drafts folder.

The idea resurfaced again when Pepsi rolled out another round of  Throwback’s with different designs back in December.  This week, a co-worker showed up toting a twelve pack of it into the break room, and invited me to have one at my leisure.  I put it off for a few days, then grudgingly accepted the open offer on an experimental basis.  I sat down for lunch with a can, and snagged a regular Pepsi out of the soda machine with an idea.  I would write about the marketing angle, and throw in a taste test for good measure.  Now, since I don’t care for Pepsi much, I feel I can remain unbiased when it comes to the taste difference.

The Test: I pulled two paper cups from the water machine and set up my taste test on the table, Pepsi on the left and Throwback on the right.  My palate cleaner sat ready at my elbow for better distinguishing of tastes.  I began with the classic, and was greeted with pretty much what I expected; the Pepsi was syrupy-sweet and over-carbonated, with a slight acidic tang to it.  The sweetness lingered like a sweet glove on my tongue.  I readied my tongue again and had my first ever taste of the Throwback.  The sweetness was more pronounced, but not syrupy, it reminded me of table sugar melting on my tongue.  The carbonation was surprisingly lighter, not giving as much bite as the regular Pepsi.  the same acidic tang is there, but the sweetness fades away much quicker that the HFCS does.  If I had to choose, I would pick the Throwback over the regular Pepsi.  I still don’t care for it, though.

The Complaint: Now that I got that out of the way, I can focus on the more important implications of this second run of Throwback sodas.  The first run came with a press release lavished with self-praise over their new, nostalgic sodas.  In a Throwback review on  BevReview, a Nicole Bradley of Pepsi-Cola North America Beverages noted that, “these products were not created because of any health concerns…”  Many have a hard time believing this, due to the soda industry’s near dependence on HFCS to keep costs lower, and the (at the time) escalating backlash. The corn industry was already leading their own ‘information’ campaign, yet SoBe, a subsidiary of Pepsi, began switching their products to sucrose from HFCS at the same time.  Sugar still isn’t good for you, but many see it as better than HFCS, and the industry must ultimately bend to the will of the consumer if they can’t convince them.

I see this as Pepsi testing the waters of a sugar switch, at least on a small scale, to see how their consumer base reacts.  The reaction has been generally positive; the first run of Throwback sold out, and the second seems to be well on its way to doing so as well.  I’m sure Pepsi is far from ever considering switching their entire supply back to sucrose (the sugar in the Throwback’s being a combination of cane and beet sugars), but the timing may hint at their apprehension with the stirrings in the soda-drinking population about HFCS.  We’ve talked plenty about it and the questions and health concerns its use raises, and would be more than happy to see it disappear from use in drinks of any kind, but know this is still wishful thinking, as long as the population at large remains uninformed about and addicted to HFCS.  Let us just consider the Throwback experiment as a nod to those of us who have become informed, and rejoice.

Score: 3 out of 5. I still don’t care for Pepsi, but it tastes better than its HFCS counterpart.

– WiseGuise

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3-Star Reviews, Pepsi-Cola, Rants drink reviews, Rants

In this clip, Colbert delivers a wonderfully scathing satirical commentary on America’s excessive consumption.  And guess who’s the star of the show??  Our friend, high-fructose corn syrup!  Yay!!

That’s right, we’re drinking corn! In this video, Colbert refers to corn subsidies that were introduced some decades ago. Basically, the government pays farmers extra money to produce corn. That lets the farmers sell the corn to companies below production costs and still make a profit. It also makes for a market that has corn coming out its ears. (Ha ha.)

So what did those enterprising corporations do with all of that excess cheap corn? What didn’t they do?? They not only invented high-fructose corn syrup, they found a billion other things they could make it into, too! To top it off, they discovered that they could feed it to chicken and cattle to make them grow at an abnormally fast rate. They found every way imaginable to make use of this plentiful crop. And where has it gotten us? Where do we stand today as a society because of this love of corn? Take a look around you next time you’re at Wal-Mart, my friend. From the high-fructose in almost every single food product, to the hundreds of pants-buttons straining against the mass of their owners for release, you’ll see the results everywhere.

-Danithius-

Rants

Today we have another SoBe Lifewater contender up on the chopping block: Strawberry Dragonfruit.

This is another 0-calorie “Lean Machine” Lifewater sweetened exclusively with Stevia and Erythritol.  The other lean machines have surprised me with a depth of flavor and lack of obnoxious aftertaste that I have yet to find in other “diet” products.  As regular BL readers know, we stay away from any artificial sweeteners.  But because Lifewater uses Stevia (a sweet herb) and Erythritol (a natural sugar-alcohol), they make the cut.

Fragrance: Smells like a sweet-tart tropical fruit with a hint of bubblegum.

Taste: Like all the other Lifewaters, this is pleasant and chuggable.  The sweetness level is just right, and it delivers some moderate tropical/floral notes.  But it lacks the distinct flavor profile that I’ve come to enjoy from its fruity brethren.  All in all, it just isn’t enough to make me stand up and take notice.  I expect more from the flavor-formulators over at SoBe!

Summary: Sure, dragonfruit sounds cool.  I mean come on, it’s dragonfruit.  The only way to get a cooler-sounding piece of produce would be to invent ninjafruit or something.  (I’m trademarking that, by the way!)  But the thing is, dragonfruit is one of those items that sounds cool in principle, but then fails to deliver in practice.  I’ve had it fresh; it was like biting into a cardboard-and-poppyseed muffin.  It’s bland.  They could have compensated for its lack of flavor in this Lifewater with a more pronounced strawberry taste, but unfortunately it was nowhere to be found.

Rating: 3.0/5 It has the pleasant sweetness of its brethren, but falls short in the flavor department.

-Danithius-

User Ratings: (2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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3-Star Reviews, SoBe Life Water drink reviews, SoBe lifewater

While browsing at my local Fresh Market (formerly known as Albertson’s in Utah) and came upon this pricey bottle, sold at a staggering $6.79 for the 32 ounces.  But, it was a local product, and in the name of pure curiosity, I grabbed it.  I winced after scanning it, slid my card, and brought my new acquisition home.  The name, MOAB, stands for Most Optimum Antioxidant Beverage, which sounds like a forced acronym with a possible intentional reference to a famous Utah town of the same name.  Mangosteen is a relatively unknown taste for my palate, so I was excited to try it.  The next day, I carefully opened the bottle, careful not to spill the expensive liquid, and the rest, they say, is my post.

I came into this post with equal parts excitement and hesitation, like your first time jumping of the high-dive.  I am immediately wary of anything using the word ’superfruit,’ but I am always more than willing to try something new.    At first smell, the lychee (second ingredient) wallops me with its powerful, delicious scent, with a citrus-y background that should be the mangosteen.  After a sip of the precious fluid, I am amazed at how good it tastes, especially compared to other ’superfruit’ drinks (we will have more to say about them later).  There is a tangy sweetness that isn’t overpowered by the lychee.  There are several other filler juices in here to tame the flavors, but the end result is taste-bud ecstasy.  It’s a little thick, but not unpleasantly so, and not gritty.

Along with the long list of vitamins, antioxidants and other various contents like sterols (don’t worry, they fight cholesterol) there is a great deal of sugar in here.  About 30 g to the 8 oz serving, that’s more than Coke, but at least it’s from fruit.  The truth about mangosteen, as far as I can gather, is that its health claims are highly overblown; the supposed high concentration of nutrients and antioxidants are located in the inedible skin, called the exocarp, and can only be obtained when pureed as a whole or added, adding astringency and a purple color to the juice.  This looks more like a good, pressed, apple cider.

So, although the mangosteen is probably more of a novelty than a superfruit, all the good stuff is in this bottle, including flavor and possible health benefits.  However, there’s a lot of sugar in there too.  And don’t forget about the cost, although it’s a bargain compared to something like Xango.

Score: 4.5 out of 5. Would I purchase it again?  Probably not.  Would I drink it if offered? Hell, yes.  Delicious.

– Wiseguise

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4-Star Reviews, M.O.A.B. drink reviews, mangosteen, superfruit

Hey there Libationers!  I have a new selection here from a company called Jackson Hole Soda Company out of Wyoming.  I found it at Sundance ski resort out here in the great state of Utaw.  I’m still waiting to hear from the company about the sugar content – there is no nutritional information on the bottle.

For the time being, let’s judge this stuff on flavor merit.  A strong berry fragrance emanates from the bottle.  It smells tart and sweet.  I just hope it doesn’t prove too sweet.

I take a swig, and the sweet berry flavor swirls around my tongue.  It’s not too sweet, though, and it packs a surprisingly deep flavor.  Something like a berry cola?  A berry root beer?  It’s a pleasant surprise – there are definitely some bigger players at work than just the berry.  Then again, I’ve never tried a real-life huckleberry, so maybe this is what they taste like?  If so, I have to have one!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 – a surprisingly tasty, independently bottled old-fashioned soda

Danithius

User Ratings: (1 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
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4-Star Reviews, Jackson Hole Soda Co. drink reviews

Crazy mosaic of Jones-ness decorates the bottle

Greetings, Libationers!  Today I’m tackling an interesting flavor contender by Jones Soda.  First off, props to Jones for getting off the HFCS (high-fructose corn syrup) bandwagon way back in ‘06.  That switch is the reason we can review their sodas – as you know, we don’t dig the HFCS.  But alas, while Jones does offer interesting soda flavors, it is still just flavored sugar-water, with no actual fruit juice or significant vitamins to sweeten the deal.  (At least this is the case with this particular flavor.  We did reviews of their new GABA line, which were a different story).  And wow, there is a lot of sugar in this thing.  46 grams for one 12-ounce bottle – that’s 15 teaspoons of sugar in this one bottle, people!

OK, with that said, let’s get down to business.  I crack open the multicolored bottle, and it explodes a cloud of fruity mist all over my face.  I must have shaken it up on the way back from the fridge.  It does give me an immediate sense of the beverage’s smell, however, which is acutely indescribable.  It’s like… it’s like… ow.  My brain is crying out in protest as I try to pluck out a single word to assign this product.  I have to break out the big guns for this one – excuse me while I grab a wine glass.

OK, here we go.  I swirl and sniff and swirl some more, trying to take it all in.  Hang on… OK, I think I have something.  I can’t produce a specific word for this stuff, so you’ll have to make do with a metaphor.  Imagine every kind of fruity candy and bubblegum that you see at your grocery store’s checkout stand.  Now imagine the checkout stands of all the grocery stores from all across the world.  With me?  OK, now all of those candies are placed in a single giant blender somewhere in northern Texas.  Hit “frappe” on that thing, and take a big whiff of the resulting product.  Yeah.  It’s like that.

Even the color is strange on this liquid.  It’s a translucent greenish color, like pond water in sunlight.

After all the drama that came from just smelling this stuff, I’m afraid to actually put it in my mouth!  I might break something in my tongue.  But no, I must press on, for the greater good!  Here goes nothing…

Ow, my brain… so many flavors… arghh…

I don’t know what the long-term effects of this thing will be… If I don’t make another post within a week’s time, please, someone send out a rescue crew.

Rating: 3.0 out of 5 – Loaded with sugar, but good when you need a thorough mind-blow.

-Danithius- (I think?)

User Rating: (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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3-Star Reviews, Jones Soda Co. drink reviews, reviews

Greetings Libationers!  A couple of days ago I was wandering the aisles of my local food purveyor co-op, and what should I see there but a brand-new Lifewater flavor!  The title “Cherimoya Punch” grabbed my eyes from the frosted plastic bottle, and I knew I had to have it.  And of course, since it was a new flavor debut, it was on sale.  Double-score for me!

Cherimoya and I have a brief but torrid history together.  My chef at culinary school was the first to introduce me to this mysterious fruit.  He came into the kitchen one day with a big plastic bag full of exotic fruits for the class to try.

“Is there a fruit that I haven’t tried yet?” I muttered incredulously.  “Ppph, I don’t think that’s even possible.”

But my eyes widened as he pulled a lumpy, greenish-brown thing from the bag and immediately cut it in half.  It had white flesh on the inside with big, brown seeds.

“This,” chef said, “is the Cherimoya.”

I squeezed through my classmates for a better look.  What was this?  I had to try some!

The chef picked up a spoon - a spoon! – and scooped out a bit of the soft, white flesh.  He popped it merrily into his mouth and spat out the seed.  He told everyone to do the same.  Seeing some dubious faces, he egged us on: “come on, it tastes like bubblegum!”

I grabbed a spoon and scooped out a chunk of fruit.  Feeling the excitement of new experience, I raised it to my mouth and popped it in.

The flavor was amazing.  It was like bubblegum, except 50 times better.  It was like a big slap in the face to bubblegum flavor scientists everywhere.  By Mother Nature.  I didn’t even notice the giant seed in the middle until all of the delicious white flesh had melted away.  I had to have more!  Who had been keeping this fruit secret from me?!  They would pay dearly for their treachery…

But I digress.  In brief, I like the Cherimoya.  And I’m staring at this Lifewater bottle in my hands, hoping that Sobe doesn’t disappoint me.

I twist off the cap and take a whiff.  The smell reminds me of some kind of tropical bubblegum with a hint of sour.  It’s a good start, and I hope the taste can deliver that slice of heaven that I’m expecting.

I take a sip.  It’s… puzzling.  I can sense that bit of cherimoya-bubblegummy goodness coming out to greet me, but there are definitely other players here.  A tinge of sour.  A soft note of… banana?  Well, I suppose it is called “Cherimoya Punch“, so it makes sense.  And the flavors do come together in a nice harmony.  And, true to Lifewater’s tradition, the sweetness level is perfect. OK, I’m liking this.

Yes, I’m nearing the end of the bottle now, and I think Lifewater has pulled it off again with this one.  Cherimoya Punch’s flavor is deep and complex, while still being entirely chuggable and very refreshing.  I dig.

This beverage does contain an ingredient list that requires an encyclopedia to decipher, which can be worrisome.  I have ventured out on the internets to look them up, however, and they are mostly vitamins, weight-loss/fat burning ingredients, and flavors.   I haven’t found anything (yet) to be concerned about in this drink, but if there are any chemists or nutritionists out there who want to enlighten me, be my guest!

A quick note on the sweeteners – Lifewater is still one of the only “diet” products that I drink regularly (the other being Zevia soda), and it’s because they consistently get the sweetness level just right, and there is little to no strange “diet” aftertaste.  There is also the fact that they use Stevia and Erythritol, which are both natural ingredients.  (What do I think about artificially created sweeteners, you ask?  Well, you could make tire rubber taste exactly like sugar, but that doesn’t mean that I’d want to eat it.)

Finally, allow me to make one humble request:

Sobe flavor-creation people, could you please make me a batch of pure Cherimoya-flavored Lifewater?  Pretty please?  You don’t know what I would give for such a thing.  The least of which is my eternal love and devotion, and the most of which is something priceless.  Rhymes with shmeldest fun.  Call me!

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 – Another well-balanced, flavorful, “non-diety” diet drink.  Cheers!

-Danithius-

User ratings: (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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4-Star Reviews, SoBe Life Water

Yes, finally, the last oogave review that I’ve been putting off for a week.   Christmas shopping has been wreaking havoc on my posting, among other things.  Let’s get down to it, shall we?  Yes, we shall.  I ended up with the other citrus offering from oogave, Mandarin-Key Lime.  This simple soda has only four ingredients, as long as you count ‘natural flavors’ as a single ingredient.

The freshly opened bottle tickles my nose with a citrus-y mandarin feather, but I’m having a hard time detecting the lime.  With a swig, I get that first rush of sweet from the agave, then an orange tang, followed by a hint of lime.  None of the flavors really overwhelm the others except for the sweetness; at least you can say that oogave knows how to play it mellow with the flavors, if you’re into that sort of thing.

I think that Esteban could really play around with the flavors a lot more, make them familiar but interesting.  The sweetness always seems to take control of my taste-buds before the real flavors get a chance to take them for a ride.  I really wanted to like this soda more, but the sugars are the only thing my tongue has any memory of now that I’ve finished the bottle.  Although, I do feel fuller.

Score: 3 out of 5. The understated flavors disappear under the agave sweetness.

– WiseGuise

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3-Star Reviews, oogave all natural, independent company, oogave, organic

As is usual when we receive a group of drinks to try, we split them up according to our preference, expertise, or just at random.  In this case it was all three.  I chose Esteban’s Rootbeer as my first, since Danithius had already tried it, and I gave my rebuttal.  My second oogave choice was this fruity number, since I am fond of citrus in mostly healthy ways.

Popping the top, my nose is greeted by  light, grapefruit-y scent, sweet and bubbly as your favorite waitress.  The taste follows with an undeniable link to the citrus waft, although more hinted at than fully explored, finishing with a grape-y mellow sweetness with a lingering memory of grapefruit o the back of your tongue.  None of the sour or bitterness I expected is evident, which is usually associated with this particular fruit, but not necessarily in a bad way.  Many are turned off by this pithy flavor in grapefruit, which is unwarranted.  Good grapefruits are sweet.

The agave tends to coat your mouth and throat, definitely leaning this towards being a sipping soda.  The agave nectar does seem to make me feel fuller after topping off my lunch with this, I don’t need to hit the water cooler or find something else to snack on.  I am refreshed and full.  I found this a welcome alternative to traditional sodas, oogave definitely has something here.

Score: 4.5 out of 5. A tad sweet, but definitely a citrus soda I will remember.

– WiseGuise

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4-Star Reviews, oogave oogave, organic

Alright, folks, time to try another soda from oogave.  (Check out our other oogave reviews).  Today I’m trying their cola flavor – the benchmark flavor of any self-respecting soda company.  I wonder how it’ll stack up.  Side note: my current favorite is the surprisingly complex Red Bull Cola – it tickles my fancy as a chef with its unique ingredients, and the flavor tickles my tongue like a good cola should.

I crack open the bottle and am greeted by a peculiar fragrance – something between a root beer, a cola, and a bite of something I can’t quite put my finger on… let’s see how this comes out in the flavor.

Well, the bite part came through a little bit, but not so much on the root beer and cola flavors.  In fact, it’s hard to pick up any distinct flavors in this.  How can I best describe it?  It’s flat.  Hollow.  It has no real body and a weak, astringent finish.  It lacks the sweetness of the other flavors (all of oogave’s current flavors have 24 grams of sugar per 12 oz bottle, and most of them do very well with that relatively small amount.)  It doesn’t say “cola” to me, nor does it remind me of any soda flavor.  It’s like very watered-down molasses mixed with citric acid.

Rating: 2.0 out of 5 - Healthy concept, but the flavor just isn’t there.

-Danithius-

User Rating: (1 votes, average: 3.00 out of 5)
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2-Star Reviews, oogave